Discovering Dad - Latest Comments in What Moms Really Think About Physical Appearances

Re: What Moms Really Think About Physical Appearances

tmanettas — Wed, 30 Apr 2008 10:36:00 -0000

Grrrowwlllll......

Looks! That's what got the party started! At least for both my husband and myself; we met in a Hot Tub.

But, in hindsight we should have been a tad more honest that those looks would most def change. I wouldn't always have a prebaby tummy(and admittedly now-never will have that prebaby tummy) He wouldn't always have the sexy beach volleyball 6 pack. Which is cool. I would say that for us, I obsess about my looks and Mr.T SO DOES NOT. Like Mrs.DD said-my look is much more cultivated and takes mass amounts of planning. Makeup, workouts, passing on margaritas and going for the vodka and club soda instead. Expensive jeans to conceal saddlebags, top notch bras to get that rack back on it's shelf. Sucking in, standing tall......but y'know what makes me feel better than turning strangers heads at the bar-the fact that Mr.T notices NO DIFFERENCE. NOT A ONE. Cut off sweats, tank tops braless, no makeup, hair all crazylike, 1 inch long leg hair-no nig thang to him. So why do I go through all that? For me. It makes me feel pretty, which makes me happy then everyone catches the happiness.

Re: What Moms Really Think About Physical Appearances

jnbammer — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 23:06:35 -0000

I'm a tall guy - 6' 3" - and people tell me all the time that I "carry my weight well" (this is not directed at you MommyCosm, but)...what are they smokin? Are they just looking at me from the front? Obviously, they haven't seen the two balloons stuffed in the back of my pants, or the pear-shaped side view! Carry my weight well? I guess, if you mean I don't fall over and roll away.

Sorry MommyCosm, I had to get that off my chest. It's not you....it's me ;-)

Re: What Moms Really Think About Physical Appearances

jnbammer — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 23:01:23 -0000

I've grown to like the comfortable look with Lori - we're at 9 years next month - and I like that she feels comfortable around me and vice versus. At home, it nice to just be - you know?

Re: What Moms Really Think About Physical Appearances

jnbammer — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 22:57:20 -0000

Yeah - they al-yight :-)

Re: What Moms Really Think About Physical Appearances

MommyCosm — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 17:00:24 -0000

I think that, as a rule, men get better looking when they get older. They can put on 20 extra pounds and wear it well. Also, nothing is more attractive than watching your husband be a great dad to your kids. The gray hair even looks somewhat distinguished.

I know in my circle of friends, most of us women have to work much harder to maintain our looks as the years go by. We worry and stress about how we look and we don't really notice if our husbands have let themselves go a bit.

Re: What Moms Really Think About Physical Appearances

OHmommy — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 16:20:48 -0000

Great answers from all the women and nice discussion you have going here. I seem to agree with Mr. Lady, after 8 years of marriage, I feel so comfortable around my husband. But I am not sure if he appreciates me going braless in sweats at night. (Not a pretty site after three kids) Perhaps I should hide my Cros tonight and be a little fancy.... might spark a memory of when we first met.

Re: What Moms Really Think About Physical Appearances

terri — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 16:19:55 -0000

I LOVE this! I'm so glad Mr. Lady steered me over here. Such awesome insight from some fantastic bloggers.

Re: What Moms Really Think About Physical Appearances

tmanettas — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 16:18:34 -0000

love this!! What great relationship topics-I like that you have ladies from all walks of the relationship spectrum!! CANNOT wait for tomorrow!

Re: What Moms Really Think About Physical Appearances

jnbammer — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 16:13:04 -0000

Tony's 3C's - sounds like a good blog post! Let us know if you write it ;-)

Re: What Moms Really Think About Physical Appearances

jnbammer — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 16:03:18 -0000

Shinade - I'm so glad to see you back! This was an excellent addition, and I really appreciate you sharing with us! You are always honest and generous with your insights. I really like what you say at the end - it gives me even more to look forward to with Lori!

Re: What Moms Really Think About Physical Appearances

tony — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 15:29:27 -0000

okay, this is a little dorky, but I've always thought of relationships in terms of my "3 C's" - chemistry, compatibility, and character.

character - stuff like...can I trust this person? how does she treat her annoying friend?
compatibility - stuff like... do we hold the same values? do we care about some of the same things?
chemistry - stuff like... am I attracted to this person? is there that "spark?"

So I think appearances matter, but they're only 1/3 of the bigger picture. (likewise, I don't think we can only look at one of the other C's in isolation)

Re: What Moms Really Think About Physical Appearances

Shinade — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 15:21:29 -0000

This is an excellent post. As you know I have been away for a while and have missed much. I will definitely try to get back through the entire series.

My husband and I have been married for almost 27 years now. He is 62 and I am 51. When we first met, I was always considered somewhat of a hottie. I was a slim size 7. Large bust, small waist, and nice hips. Now I am a size 12. And the waist line has thickened and I do have a few wrinkles that I would like to erase.

As for my husband, he too was very attractive. Tall, out doorsy type. He could have been The Marlboro Man, if any of you are old enough to remember those billboards with the gourgeous cowboy. He had lush thick hair and still wore the same size jeans as he did as a teen. Tall, slim, and extremely handsome. Now he is balding just a wee bit in the front, his beard is graying, and his jeans have moved from a 32 to a 34 and sometimes 36 waist. And, he too has his fair share of wrinkles.

But he is still the apple of my eye. And I his. And, he is just as attactive to me after coming in from working out in the yard, or, just getting back from being on the road. He doesn't have to dress up, slick down, and try to impress me. And, I am grateful that he feels the same towards me.

Some of our best love making has not been when we are all spiffed up for each other. Rather, for us it is the unexpected times that just pop up. Those are truly the best love making times. At least for us. Don't get me wrong it's good all of the time. But, those unexpected surprises, a simple touch or glance, that is exchanged between us, and we know, we feel the very same strong pull that we felt when we met 27 years ago, those are the best moments to share for us.

Yes I do see other men that I do find attractive. I even have upon occasion run across a few that tempted me into wondering. By that I mean I have experienced that magnetic sexual attraction for others since our marriage. But, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that no one other than my husband can satisfy me sexually better than he.

So we have been blessed with a love that is blind to our aging. We are forever young in each other's eyes. And, we were also blessed to be each other's perfect match sexually. Our desire for each other is as strong as it ever was. And, let me tell you something about getting older together. The better you get to know your partner, well, wow...the better it gets.

Re: What Moms Really Think About Physical Appearances

jnbammer — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 14:11:40 -0000

Why would you think that comment is being a downer? That was a great comment, and it makes perfect sense. I know that my current weight loss efforts are more for my own self-confidence than my wife's satisfaction, even though I want her to think I'm hot too! Look good = feel good = relate good = marriage good. It's all GOOD! :-)

Re: What Moms Really Think About Physical Appearances

MommyTime — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 14:02:08 -0000

Can I add a spin to this without being a downer? It's true that brains matter a WHOLE lot more than looks -- brains + sense of humor + thoughtfulness + creativity = hot. HOWEVER, as someone whose husband has gained and lost many tens of pounds since we've been married, I can also say with certainty that when you (a man) don't feel good about your own appearance, when your self-confidence dips, so does our marital satisfaction. It's not that there is some absolute weight that is "right" or some body type that is the "only" sexy one, but self-confidence and a sense of happiness within one's self (at whatever weight or level of buff-ness) is really really REALLY key. My husband has two herniated disks, and when he gains weight, it's hard to lose because extra weight = even more back pain = even less ability to exercise = more weight gain... you can see the cycle. Recently, he's lost 30 pounds, though, and he is so much happier within himself that our marriage is SOOO much happier as a result. I don't mean just the gettin' nekkid part, either. I mean, we have better conversations, we do more together as a family, we are happier all around.

So I don't think that looks alone are important, nor do they outweigh (sorry about the pun, can't find another better word) personal qualities, but I do think that looks can have an effect on personality that should not be ignored. Find the "look" and level of being in shape that makes you feel good about yourself, and we will want to jump your bones AND talk to you afterwards.

Re: What Moms Really Think About Physical Appearances

jnbammer — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 13:54:57 -0000

Don't sell yourself short dude - you've got style, smarts and wit! Sounds like if you can make a woman laugh, it goes a long way (except when your naked - not sure any of them have answered that part yet :)).

Re: What Moms Really Think About Physical Appearances

jnbammer — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 13:51:46 -0000

I think it's great you guys are working on losing weight together. It always helps to have your partner on board with things, otherwise it makes for a more difficult process. Great comment!

Re: What Moms Really Think About Physical Appearances

jnbammer — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 13:50:41 -0000

Yes, but appreciate never gets old ;-)

Re: What Moms Really Think About Physical Appearances

Xbox4NappyRash — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 13:50:04 -0000

Appearances MUST mean nothing, if they did I would simply never, ever have gotten la...er married.

People DO end up with appropriate physical matches though, I can attest to that.

Re: What Moms Really Think About Physical Appearances

jnbammer — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 13:49:51 -0000

Thanks Kim! Don't you think that would be fun? I think people would watch that. Heck - Mr Lady and Joeprah could have their own braiding show with celebrity challenges, and you know there'd be at least 30 minutes worth of W8 loss Wednesday stuff between BD, PG, Scott, me and Nuke Dad. It would be a blast!

Re: What Moms Really Think About Physical Appearances

Jojo — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 13:23:32 -0000

I totally agree with Lori, I contemplate over my physical appearance WAY more than my husband's. We've definitely gained pounds together after we got together, but somehow his pudge is more attractive than mine :(. I've been working on losing the baby weight, and even though I get close to my pre-baby size, it's just not the same anymore you know? My husband's like I already got you so I can get fat if I want. But we are working on our diet together, it's less intimidating that way because we have the same goal and then nobody's feelings will be hurt like in a you're fatter than me kind of way.

Re: What Moms Really Think About Physical Appearances

Kim — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 13:21:17 -0000

I loved your response to this post.. because I do believe that older men get more attractive because their personalities have evolved.. And your last paragraph about your wife not believing you when you are trying to be sincere is exactly how it goes in my house. It is harder when you reach your mid 30's.. to feel like you can pull off sexy.. So it is not like we are downplaying your compliments because we still need them.. it is just harder for us to accept them.

Re: What Moms Really Think About Physical Appearances

Kim — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 13:15:57 -0000

Umm.. you should go buy that domain name now.. (I am a dork and checked it for you)

Re: What Moms Really Think About Physical Appearances

Kim — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 13:13:09 -0000

I loved reading the ladies answers here..But my favorite part of this is watching the "gentlemen" respond to the post. Great idea Jeremy.. um.. does that make is like the 500th time I have told you this.. :)

Re: What Moms Really Think About Physical Appearances

Mr Lady — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 13:00:11 -0000

Nah, It's fine the way it is. And Lonf Winded is just how the cool kid roll. ;)

Re: What Moms Really Think About Physical Appearances

jnbammer — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 12:42:06 -0000

Yeah, the comfort factor definitely adds to the attraction for me. I know I can be myself around my wife, looks aside, and that makes me feel great about us!