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Great job ladies, and great answers!
(Boys, just so you know, I KNOW that Ami James has been married 5 times... he's lacking that 'depth of character' bit that is the biggest turn on of all for me. But, damn if he isn't eye candy! )
My wife is still beautiful with or without makeup, which I try to tell her a lot but she doesn't really believe me :) I'd like to find ways to convince her she's still as or more attractive as when I first met her but it's difficult to find ways that truly sound sincere and don't sound fake or empty flattery. It's difficult to convince women that they are still attractive and sexy and all that after a certain age and amount of time..
I just looked at the picture of you with your son, and I'd say you're still hot, even if you don't think so because of putting on a little weight or getting a bit older.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, as they say. As we age our bodies change, gravity sets in (dang it!), we develop lines on our face etc. Sucks big time, but it happens.
I don't personally believe that weight fluctuations take away "hotness" at all, but I don't advocate obesity either. Personally, I'm more turned off by a "sloppy appearance", just throwing on the ol' sweats and ratty ol' T-shirt, not even trying to present an attractive/appealing look.
Sometimes I wonder if married people get the idea that once the wedding ring goes on the finger and ink on the marriage license dries, all the effort that used to be put into making ourselves look nice for ourselves and our spouse is suddenly no longer important. Time passes and people start Googling "how to keep the fire alive in your marriage". Duh.............. :)
Oh, and I loved reading all these responses...even Mr. Lady's (she just killed me in a braid off). They all speak of the truth, which men generally can't focus as much initially, but we always seem to come around eventually. What can I say, women are just smarter when it comes to this issue. Period.
I love Mr. Lady's response. It is as true and complete a response to this question as I have ever read. The point that our effort at keeping ourself in some desirable shape is a sign of respect and love is an awesome one.
I only really know two things for sure:
1. My wife is the most beautiful person I know (inside and out).
2. I look my best when my wife is by my side.
Note to readers - don't these panelists rock!?! This answer was great!
I'm eagerly looking forward to tomorrow's post.
1) On a scale of 1-10, how attractive did you consider your man when you first dated/were married? Not how attractive you think he was, but how attractive he was to you....
2) On a scale of 1-10, after say ten years, has that number changed for you? Do you think it's changed in his outward appearance to others?
3) On a scale of 1-10, how bout those of you out there after 15 or more years? Same? More? Less? Is he more attractive to you now with years, grey, maturity, experience, etc?
I think that's what husbands want to know and be confident of - not whether they're necessarily still (or more) good-looking, attractive or sexy to the world in general, but that their wives are still as or more attracted to them after all the years, kids, jobs, headaches, arguments, vacations, school, moves, 2nd jobs, makeups, flirtations, etc. And if the answer is "less", what can we do to rekindle that attraction?
2) 4,296. For a totally different reason. The abs are but a distant memory, but he's nice now. He's matured and settled and is lovely in every way. He's still crazy hot, but just not rock hard like he used to be. His insides, though? Delectable.
3) We're at 12 1/2 years. The grey hair is my favorite. The experience and the stability is a huge turn on.
I am definitely more attracted to him now than I have ever been. We have sailed some rocky seas, he and I, and coming out standing on the other side has made us closer.
People DO end up with appropriate physical matches though, I can attest to that.
So I don't think that looks alone are important, nor do they outweigh (sorry about the pun, can't find another better word) personal qualities, but I do think that looks can have an effect on personality that should not be ignored. Find the "look" and level of being in shape that makes you feel good about yourself, and we will want to jump your bones AND talk to you afterwards.
My husband and I have been married for almost 27 years now. He is 62 and I am 51. When we first met, I was always considered somewhat of a hottie. I was a slim size 7. Large bust, small waist, and nice hips. Now I am a size 12. And the waist line has thickened and I do have a few wrinkles that I would like to erase.
As for my husband, he too was very attractive. Tall, out doorsy type. He could have been The Marlboro Man, if any of you are old enough to remember those billboards with the gourgeous cowboy. He had lush thick hair and still wore the same size jeans as he did as a teen. Tall, slim, and extremely handsome. Now he is balding just a wee bit in the front, his beard is graying, and his jeans have moved from a 32 to a 34 and sometimes 36 waist. And, he too has his fair share of wrinkles.
But he is still the apple of my eye. And I his. And, he is just as attactive to me after coming in from working out in the yard, or, just getting back from being on the road. He doesn't have to dress up, slick down, and try to impress me. And, I am grateful that he feels the same towards me.
Some of our best love making has not been when we are all spiffed up for each other. Rather, for us it is the unexpected times that just pop up. Those are truly the best love making times. At least for us. Don't get me wrong it's good all of the time. But, those unexpected surprises, a simple touch or glance, that is exchanged between us, and we know, we feel the very same strong pull that we felt when we met 27 years ago, those are the best moments to share for us.
Yes I do see other men that I do find attractive. I even have upon occasion run across a few that tempted me into wondering. By that I mean I have experienced that magnetic sexual attraction for others since our marriage. But, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that no one other than my husband can satisfy me sexually better than he.
So we have been blessed with a love that is blind to our aging. We are forever young in each other's eyes. And, we were also blessed to be each other's perfect match sexually. Our desire for each other is as strong as it ever was. And, let me tell you something about getting older together. The better you get to know your partner, well, wow...the better it gets.
character - stuff like...can I trust this person? how does she treat her annoying friend?
compatibility - stuff like... do we hold the same values? do we care about some of the same things?
chemistry - stuff like... am I attracted to this person? is there that "spark?"
So I think appearances matter, but they're only 1/3 of the bigger picture. (likewise, I don't think we can only look at one of the other C's in isolation)
I know in my circle of friends, most of us women have to work much harder to maintain our looks as the years go by. We worry and stress about how we look and we don't really notice if our husbands have let themselves go a bit.
Sorry MommyCosm, I had to get that off my chest. It's not you....it's me ;-)
Looks! That's what got the party started! At least for both my husband and myself; we met in a Hot Tub.
But, in hindsight we should have been a tad more honest that those looks would most def change. I wouldn't always have a prebaby tummy(and admittedly now-never will have that prebaby tummy) He wouldn't always have the sexy beach volleyball 6 pack. Which is cool. I would say that for us, I obsess about my looks and Mr.T SO DOES NOT. Like Mrs.DD said-my look is much more cultivated and takes mass amounts of planning. Makeup, workouts, passing on margaritas and going for the vodka and club soda instead. Expensive jeans to conceal saddlebags, top notch bras to get that rack back on it's shelf. Sucking in, standing tall......but y'know what makes me feel better than turning strangers heads at the bar-the fact that Mr.T notices NO DIFFERENCE. NOT A ONE. Cut off sweats, tank tops braless, no makeup, hair all crazylike, 1 inch long leg hair-no nig thang to him. So why do I go through all that? For me. It makes me feel pretty, which makes me happy then everyone catches the happiness.