DISQUS

Zoeyjane · 1 year ago

i had no idea. god, the heartache you must be going through. i'm amazed at the strength you've shown in the face of this. i'm amazed at your ability to try again, after Laney. some people never will and never move on (as much as is possible). You're a testament, J.

jnbammer · 1 year ago

Thanks Zoeyjane.

Kate @ Life As I Live It · 1 year ago

Oh Jeremy. My heart just hurts knowing what pain you've already been thru with Laney. Ack, I can't imagine. I'm so sorry. You are being incredibly strong in the face of so much pain and fear. Hang in there. My prayers are with you all.

jnbammer · 1 year ago

Thanks very much for your prayers Kate.

dadofdivas · 1 year ago

Jeremy,

Thank you for letting us all know where things were...for the past few days I had truly been hoping that things were moving forward. Now again you have me hooked and waiting for the next installment. You truly show your strength in how you dealt and are dealing with the situation and I omend you on this as I don't know if I could be that strong (though I would try my best). Your family continues to be in my thoughts and prayers and I do hope that things with Caitlin continue to improve!

jnbammer · 1 year ago

Thanks Chris.

SciFi Dad · 1 year ago

Holy crap. I just recently discovered your site (no pun intended). This premature series is remarkable. Truly remarkable. I was tearing up reading this post.

jnbammer · 1 year ago

Very glad you discovered the site, and I look forward to getting to know you better. Thanks for the comment.

kel · 1 year ago

Words cannot convey the sympathy I have for you and your family. You all are in my thoughts and prayer!
~K

jnbammer · 1 year ago

Thanks for the prayers Kel.

Antman · 1 year ago

Your words hit hard. I felt I was there with you. I was hoverin' above, watchin' it all, my heart achin' more and more as things unfolded. I could see the fear in you. I could feel the pain. I wish this on know one. I am sorry to know this is your life today. Ya got mad strength Jeremy, ya can see it in ya writing, ya can see it ya actions. Keep it! It's who you are and it's how ya gonna make it through this.

The buzz is wit ya dawg!

jnbammer · 1 year ago

Buzz love goes a long way - thanks man!

pete · 1 year ago

As a parent, I can't imagine going through what you've experienced. Words cannot express how much I appreciate this post. You've given me a good reminder that I'm lucky to have my two girls. Keep the faith, I'm confident that everything will work out for your family.

jnbammer · 1 year ago

You're right Pete - people should cherish every moment they have with their children and see them as the blessing that they are. When people bitch and moan about their kids, it's everything I can do not to slap them up side the head and say, "Wake up! Be thankful!"

Tom · 1 year ago

Jeremy, I had no idea. You really have a load to bear. We will keep the prayers coming, just please keep the updates coming! Hang in there and God bless you all.

jnbammer · 1 year ago

Thanks Tom.

Kim · 1 year ago

Jeremy, I sit here with such a heavy heart for you right now. As others have said, I sit here in amazement of how strong you are, how brave you are, both of you. You and Lori. And I can't forget about Chani and Ty (even though Ty is still to young to know what is going on). We will keep praying for you and your family ..

jnbammer · 1 year ago

Thanks Kim. We're lucky to have good friends thinking of us - we appreciate it!

James · 1 year ago

Oh my god, Jeremy, this all sounds so difficult and painful. Sorry to hear you have all been going through this. Thanks for sharing such personal experiences, I hope this is all theraputic to you in some minor way.

Jim

jnbammer · 1 year ago

Thanks Jim, and it is to a certain extent. Nothing will beat her coming home though.

Derek · 1 year ago

Jeremy, I too have to commend you on the strength that you and your family are showing during this time. As I read this post I had to hold back the tears because I cannot imagine the difficulty of seeing your baby in that much pain. You will all be in my thoughts during this trying time!

jnbammer · 1 year ago

Thanks Derek.

MomoFali · 1 year ago

Jeremy, I am praying for you all. I'm so sorry you are going through this experience...especially considering everything you've already had to deal with. Please keep us posted. I hope she is fighting through.

jnbammer · 1 year ago

Thanks Momo, and our conversations have also given me hope and strength.

Matt · 1 year ago

Oh, man. That's bad news. Just remember that, I my opinion, those people who work day and night in the NICU for our children's well-being and survival are the highest form of human being. I have posted a few times about my distaste for certain aspects of our medical system but, at the end of the day, they truly DO care.

I am sure that she is in completely and totally capable hands, not to mention that I do believe that all of them (my wife and I referred to them as the angels in blue) want to see Caitlin healthy and happy almost as much as the two of you do. They WILL take care of her...and they will do it to the best of their abilities. In that, there can be some solace.

jnbammer · 1 year ago

I agree Matt - the doctors and nurses we have do seem to genuinely care and want to see Caitlin get better. Thanks.

Lisa · 1 year ago

Many prayers for you & your wife to continue to have strength & the energy needed to get through this. Many prayers for baby Caitlin for no pain & a full & fast recovery!!

Your situation has made me a little embarrassed of myself. I have been telling some of the teachers at school how I am going to enroll my kids in summer camp, daycare, whatever is needed so they stay out of my hair with all the fighting & bickering the 3 of them seem to do all day every day. Well, I guess I should be thankful they are in my life to listen to their fighting & bickering. (They aren't always bad I guess...they do give great hugs & kisses when it is time for bed :-) )

Again, many prayers!!!

jnbammer · 1 year ago

Thanks for the prayers Lisa.

Nola · 1 year ago

This is a parent's nightmare. And unfair for any parent to endure it twice. What heartache! My thoughts and prayers will be with you and your family through this ordeal. Stay strong!

jnbammer · 1 year ago

Nightmare is a good analogy. Looking forward to waking up from this dream though. Thanks for the thoughts and prayers.

Kelby · 1 year ago

Wow, wow, wow, wow!!!! How awful for you! I'm so glad she is OK, but I can't imagine how hard this all was for you!
:(

jnbammer · 1 year ago

Fortunately, we have a great support network, and Lori and I have helped each other. Thanks Kelby.

jamiegrove · 1 year ago

Intense, Jeremy. Seriously intense.

jnbammer · 1 year ago

I know - I look forward to getting back to my normal light-hearted self.

Tinch72 · 1 year ago

just dm you on twitter, but hang in there. I can feel your stress and after reading this post I pray that everything starts the upward climb. You and your wife must be exhausted and I give you credit. I'd be at the hospital night and day as well. My friend's first born was 4 or 5 months premature. She is now 7 years old and doing great! It's take a great Dad to share this with others!!

jnbammer · 1 year ago

That's amazing about your friend. It's great to hear success stories! Kids are usually very resilient, if they have a fighting chance, they always seem to take it and run.

kspin · 1 year ago

I truly hope that Caitlin can be free of pain and danger very soon. I can't imagine the toll this is taking on you and your family. You are being a lot stronger than I would be and I know you're wife is grateful for that.

jnbammer · 1 year ago

Thanks kspin.

jason · 1 year ago

Heart-wrenching to say the least. I truly pray that Caitlyn's condition improves. I can't imagine having to go through it. The fact that you're able to write about it like this is amazing. She hopefully inherited your persererence. Thank you for sharing about Laney. I'm sorry for your loss. It's unfortunate that your current situation is rehashing some of those sad memories. As always...stay strong.

jnbammer · 1 year ago

Thanks Jason.

Andrea · 1 year ago

Holy hell! I'm bawling just reading about this. I can't believe you had to live it! Giant hug for you and Lori because God, babies hurting and in serious danger have to be the worst thing there is to endure. I'm so sorry you had to endure it once with Laney, but twice, with Caitlin, that's just cruel. You're a strong man. And thank you for sharing these stories. I hope the next days, weeks, months and years go as routine as can be with Caitlin.

jnbammer · 1 year ago

Routine, normal, boring stuff would be very nice! Thanks Andrea.

Sandy (Momisodes) · 1 year ago

I am so sorry you had to go down this road again. A resus scenario is something no parent should ever have to witness done on their child. I am so sorry you've had to do this more than once. Fentanyl is certainly the drug of choice for infants (most pure and effective); however, part of me is curious if her HR drop was a reaction to the med (how quickly it was delivered). I hope and pray the apnea spells end and Caitlin recovers soon.

jnbammer · 1 year ago

Thanks Sandy. We hope so too.

Lin Burress · 1 year ago

Oh my gosh, I had no idea. My thoughts and prayers are with all of you. I cannot even imagine losing a child. I'm really hoping everything turns out alright with your little one.

jnbammer · 1 year ago

Thanks Lin.

QuirkeeJames · 1 year ago

Damn, Jeremy. You had my eyes all wet with this post. I was getting nervous reading it! Hope all is going well today.

jnbammer · 1 year ago

I know the feeling man. Thanks for the thoughts.

Busydad · 1 year ago

Jeremy, I admire you so much for being able to hold it together like this. I would not be as strong. Your family is very lucky to have you at the helm. Thank you for sharing this, as tense as I may be reading it.

jnbammer · 1 year ago

Thanks Jim. I'm sure you would do the same for your family.

PG · 1 year ago

these posts are beautiful and gut wrenching all at the same time. You are one strong dude (and I don't mean that in the you could kick my ass strong - although that's true too). May your strength give everyone in your life who needs it strength.

Secret Agent Mama · 1 year ago

Oh Jeremy, I'm sorry I haven't been by... You guys remain in my thoughts and prayers.